Socks now? It's time to go?

These are from king george and they're marvelous...




If you did attend Sleaze Otter 3: The Greatest Challenge and would like to add to the general fund of knowledge, you might share your (ahem) version of events in the comments section below. Any pictures that feature the organizers in a flattering light will also be posted if/when received.


Sorry, I will not post any of the photos taken when I was being tackled, harrassed or having empty cans thrown at me...

Finally and importantly: please take a moment to look at the following email addresses and consider (but then get distracted)- focus- writing to our sponsors to let them know how awesome you think they are and what a "great" time you had at Sleaze Otter. You people received a next-level amount of prize goodness, and if you want it to continue, do your part and say thanks! Use "sLeaZE otter" as your subject line...

>emilyATsurlybikesDOTcom
The always lovely (judging from the timbre of her emails, anyway) Emily sent a load of goods. Even though you aren't try and act classy when you email her to say thanks!

>steveATswoboDOTcom
Our man Stevil Kinevil helped you avoid the bummer life.

>yancopadsATyahooDOTcom
Our gal, Liz, hooked you up.

>toddingermansonAThotmailDOTcom
BlackCatBicycles came through in the clutch at least 6 different ways for this event. Send some personal love there in return.

>vipATvanderkittenDOTcom
These course staying bunch of rawhide tuff latenighters did you a solid. Let them hear you say thanks.

>what's that? what's that you say? no hunter cycles? hunh. where were those guys?

Just

push play


and then continue.














wait for it.






















So much fun. Soooooooo much. Hopefully pictures are coming up soon, but it depends on the participants to send in their photos, and we all know what a bunch of losers rode this year. Apologies to all the cool people, but even you (and by you I mean me; because I was the only cool person around) know it is true. BOOOOOOOO!

Anyways.Thanks, y'all. Sleaze Otter 3 was a Good Time. After all, what is funner than hanging out with a group of likeminded people who are all having a Good Time? YAAAAAAAY!



We will continue to update sometimes. You know, when so moved. Quit yo jibbba jabbba, and put us on your RSS Feed, sucka! If you were to take nothing else away from this whole fiasco it should be this: only you can make a scene happen in your town. Get on that shit, Holmes.

Mr T minus not a lotta hours and counting

See that look in their eyes, Rock?

Get on your bicycle- whatever style of bicycle it is you like to ride (you like to ride?) and ride the hell out of it!

Be there or else...don't, I guess.

he's like a goddamned seagull?

Well, if you throw them starchy treats like your shitty potato chips or your ugly Lucky charms, they'll swoop down and snap them up. It is true. Also napkins, condiments, dirty diapers, etc. They are a very rapacious bird.

But if you throw up an Alka Seltzer (rumor has it) they'll end up quickly on the rocks. Dead. On account of they cannot throw up, and the expansion blows their valves out.



Whatever. If you are at a certain bar and Dan wants to buy you a drink...just smile and nod. Or if he tells you how he stepped outside for a smoke and one of your bikes is on top of the other. Or if he wants to give you money for the jukebox. Or follow you to your next bar and tip the band to play something with bicycles in it "for you", and tell you about how he parked behind the nearby porn store...Smile and nod, but don't commit to anything.

everyone is a teacher

It is easy to get sucked into the swirling cult of personality surrounding the indomitable Clubber Lang/ Mr T figurehead. Too much focus on one aspect of The Mystery is it's own trap. Do not forget, there are other notable sages in the Rocky III.



Consider Paulie, and what he can teach.

prediction?

Don't kid yourself, sucka. You thought riding to Mortimer's All Night Card Room was pointless, confusing, cold and windy? We have been training in old bomber jackets, through frozen rivers of suffering, shadowed by hostile government agents! While you have been "training" in your heated pussy controlled indoor jr. high track wearing immaculate white spandex. And your hair was perfect.



Why?


Because we are at least a mov(i)e ahead of you, fool!

condition are GO

Saturday is looking real clean weatherwise. A low of 52 degerees and not much wind? We'll take it. Lights and brakes recommended.

Something is fishy in Monterey when the wind and rain aren't plaguing the Sea Otter Classic- a racey type festival taking place the same weekend as Sleaze Otter. If you are in town to compete with us you might consider checking it out when you have down time.


In a related developement, rumors that Bigfoot will be in the hunt for a top 3 placing have been established as plausible by an important local person.

Finally, here is a lesson for those of you who sometimes blow it:



Recouping. It might come in handy Saturday night.

People get ready

there's a train a coming. A peloton heading directly for the gutter. So get your knee high striped tube socks and your extra short shorts and sprint down the beach with us and Black Cat Bicycles, the new kid on the block sponsor wise.






DO NOT MISS THE SURF SIDE HUG from 3:04- 3:25. Life affirming.


We feel that Black Cat fills the hole left in our life since the penguin kicked it. Train up, suckas- you'll need it.

Respeck!

A True Friend is hard to find. Like Hunter Cycles, our latest sponsor! You might like their bikes, they are good! And fast!

Check them out.

They would probably suck the poison out your big toe, but that would be be the limit of the sucking.

fucking awesome!

Everything right, rolled up into one tasty bundle. Extra prizes to all who show up as Superfriends characters, and/or who have this speech memorized!

fucking awesome.

This type of situation is quite likely

to arise during your Sleaze Otter tenure:




However don't feel bad if, as at the end above, you and your peers are unsuccessful at forcing the square kid into debauchery. At the next stop, you will get another crack at him. We are regrettably unable to guarantee New Edition will attend.

Sorry.

YANCO PADS riding the wave.

Triumphantly returning to the action, much like the fool to his folly (that would be you, not them), is Yanco Pads!

YAY! Thanks (Liz) YANCO PADS for helping us help people help themselves to too much posse!

If you need the item of coverage you vulnerable portion bicycle, call on them. It is the more wonderful than you can believe it.

SURLY on board

It will surprise no one to know the fine upstanding degenerates at Surly are (AGAIN! Thanks, Surly!) backing this wallowing pig of a trash barge that is the Sleaze Otter.

If you need a part of bike thing to make go your velo, you should see about them.
Proceed.

why don't you bring your pretty lil self over to the Sleaze Otter...

we'll show you a real Town&Country Cat.*







*because Monterey is too highbrow for alleys, sucka. And yes, that does contradict the commonly held image of Clubber Lang, but you know what? The real Clubber Lang a.k.a B.A. Baracus does not care about your little categories. Except to say that "alleycat" is too narrow a definition of the kind of ridiculousness experienced during a Sleaze Otter, and even that narrows it down too much. Bottom line? How much fun can you handle while riding a bike? Well, punk, do ya?

There it is.

This is the flyer from 2008 Sleaze Otter II, which was Zombie themed. Sorry you couldn't make it, suckers. It was fun. Stories and reports.

The year before (making it the inaugural) was simply Sleazy, and that was theme enough. We were not computerized at that point anyway, so no flyer repro for you!

This is all just to pave the road for this year's debacle:
SLEAZE OTTER 3: THE GREATEST CHALLENGE.

Get your wrasslin boots and your fancy gloves, bitches. It is on.
Saturday evening April 18th...7pm.