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Wednesday, April 20, 2011

the candy colored clown they call...

the Sleaze Otter. Clowns are angry/hurt. Clowns are happy/tipsy.

I close my eyes.
Just like Blue Velvet.

I wanted to hate this guy, but couldn't. Look at him. He took his beating and not only showed up at the finish, he showed up at the finish and drank Coors Light (only canned beer they got at the Shadow Box) while giving out prizes. Good lookin out, Jared. Timbuk2 didn't know they hired Chuck Norris...

Earlyish in the evening, happy clowns get prizes. even though the Oregon posse cheated, and missed the 1st box (who told you what the task was?!), they "won" 1st, 2nd, and 3rd. This lovely skinsuit was donated by Stevil, over at allhailtheblackmarket, and is a symbol of individuality and his belief in personal freedom.

Late night. Clowns are sad. Clowns are happy.

when they reminisce over you

For real.


There were some high points. There were some low points. Seems like the lowest points came immediately after bombing down super rutty descents from the high points. These were the lowest points, the crashes.

Swing down sweet chariot, stop, and...let me ride. Having your friends laugh at you and carry on without you while you slowly push your creaking bike back up the hill listening to them hoot and holler will really pick you up. That or throw popcorn all over you.

The ER doctor says, and I quote, "No dirt could have done that."
Nothing like getting heckled/accused of being a liar by the pompous ass in the white coat. Like you don't get enough of that from your "friends."

No one knows what happened to everyone, but everyone knows what happened to someone. Comment on your race experience, or send photos (inspektorjavertATgmailDOTcom).

Tuesday, April 19, 2011


If you have photos send them here: inspektorjavert(at)gmail(dot)com.

We'll get on a wrap up. I know some of you cheated. For now...

Thank You to our sponsors: Surly, Allhailtheblackmarket.com, Princteon Tec, and Timbuk2.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

you ain't special, so shut the fuck up and finish your drink

A few words before we begin.

Brakes are a very good idea. Some folks (I'm not one) can stop real good without em and all, but. Laguna Seca sits atop a big ass hill. Going down the hill will be required. If, say, a deer were to jump out in front of you (it happens) are you able to lock em up from 42mph on a 14% grade inside of 37feet on a skibbly surface?

Laguna Seca sits atop a big ass hill. Climbing back up the hill at the end of your ride will be required. If this kind of things makes you cry, you will not have a Good Time.

Dressing well means being prepared. If you are not covered in a luxurious coat of beautiful golden hued (perhaps a lovely mottled brown) hair, you will want some standing around outside type clothes.

If you are the guy (or gal) who blows it at the start, skips the course and heads straight for the bar at the finish only to drink more than is good for you and throw your bike down on the stage...fuck off. You aren't welcome back.

If you like making love at midnight...we'll work something out.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011


Hey folks. Cut and paste as you like.

...that's when the Sleaze jumped out the startin' block!

Eazily make our way to the meeting spot...

Just a little note to remind you: Don't be an ass. Keep it on the DL. The goal is to keep riding and keep partying, not to be partied out and/or thrown in jail.

In other and completely unrelated news...Welcome Timbuk2! People need bags to put stuff in, and you are helping them do it.

High 5s all around.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

drag race dynamite!

You know you love it.

When and if Sasquatch attacks, it will be the Full Moon. (Yeah, yeah, we heard you.) So lights, while always a good idea, are not as crucial as they might seem. What is crucial is that you get a fine ass pantsuit, and get ready. to. rumble.

Friday, April 1, 2011

up and down and all around

You think a ape-like creature only hangs out in the woods? LOL. Sasquatch likes to git on the goodfoot, same as you. So pay attention, you just might learn somethin.

Learn this, too: like the joker to the North of us, the clowns to our right have committed themselves to helping us help you to git on your goodfoot. We welcome and thank SURLY for their help in our continuing dissipation.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

I've got..you've got...WE'VE got to be unstoppable.

All's it takes is one lone weirdo to get a party started.

Joining the dance is Stevil Kinevil of allhailtheblackmarket.com, with his generous contribution of cat hair covered pants and various sundry goods. Think of him as the guy in the red underwear/umbrella hat at 2:15...

Thanks, Stevil, you're one of us.

The rest of y'all...get your dancing shoes ready. This year's course promises to be down and dirty. For the 1st time in our storied history we begin and "end" at Laguna Seca. There will be no hiding and no copping out
. As always- Any bike, any rider! Everybody who rides is welcomed. It's more fun thataway.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

...he had beautiful hair

It's the same MO...

I don't think you've got to worry so much about getting poked with a staff and told to "Git". I don't think you do.

But there may be some rough talking. And some dark trails. Better bring a light. Or follow someone who's got one.