It's as official as things like this are: Vanderkitten will be joining us for hijinks and hilarity. Hopefully a repeat of the amateur stripper dancing at S______'s (open since 1937!).
You know and I know, it takes all kinds to make a party jump. The course is up in the air at this point, but it is certain that there will be some action near the seashore, so be careful...
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Get Happenstance
Welcome Princeton Tec! You are the dopey old man to our conniving teens. Hopefully there is no Richard. That kid is a buzzkill.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
SIX...SIX...SIX
6...6...6 years in a row.
And for 5 years in a row the "Bike Industry" has been a lot of jock sniffing p...p...pussies.
I said it.
I hate to say it: I don't think I'm the right coach for you. You all come out here and stand around. What is that? Can you overcome your fear? Can you leave your comfy campsite, with it's cans of beans'n'franks? Can you abandon your ratty motel room, with it's engrossing and rare television programming? Could you skip your gladhanding industry event, with it's same old same old?
Why are you even working in this thankless field? Oh yeah. Because you love bicycles. So get off your ass and, uh, put your ass on your bicycle saddle.
The official theme for this 6th year shall be:
Hey Bike Industry...STOP BEING PUSSIES.
As always, the route is what it is and is open to every bike and every rider. Run what you brung and you'll be all right.
Get with it. Oh, and we are currently accepting sponsorship requests.
And for 5 years in a row the "Bike Industry" has been a lot of jock sniffing p...p...pussies.
I said it.
I hate to say it: I don't think I'm the right coach for you. You all come out here and stand around. What is that? Can you overcome your fear? Can you leave your comfy campsite, with it's cans of beans'n'franks? Can you abandon your ratty motel room, with it's engrossing and rare television programming? Could you skip your gladhanding industry event, with it's same old same old?
Why are you even working in this thankless field? Oh yeah. Because you love bicycles. So get off your ass and, uh, put your ass on your bicycle saddle.
The official theme for this 6th year shall be:
Hey Bike Industry...STOP BEING PUSSIES.
As always, the route is what it is and is open to every bike and every rider. Run what you brung and you'll be all right.
Get with it. Oh, and we are currently accepting sponsorship requests.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
the candy colored clown they call...
the Sleaze Otter. 
Clowns are angry/hurt. Clowns are happy/tipsy.
I close my eyes.
Just like Blue Velvet.
I wanted to hate this guy, but couldn't. Look at him. He took his beating and not only showed up at the finish, he showed up at the finish and drank Coors Light (only canned beer they got at the Shadow Box) while giving out prizes. Good lookin out, Jared. Timbuk2 didn't know they hired Chuck Norris...
Earlyish in the evening, happy clowns get prizes. even though the Oregon posse cheated, and missed the 1st box (who told you what the task was?!), they "won" 1st, 2nd, and 3rd. This lovely skinsuit was donated by Stevil, over at allhailtheblackmarket, and is a symbol of individuality and his belief in personal freedom.
Late night. Clowns are sad. Clowns are happy.
Clowns are angry/hurt. Clowns are happy/tipsy.I close my eyes.
Just like Blue Velvet.
I wanted to hate this guy, but couldn't. Look at him. He took his beating and not only showed up at the finish, he showed up at the finish and drank Coors Light (only canned beer they got at the Shadow Box) while giving out prizes. Good lookin out, Jared. Timbuk2 didn't know they hired Chuck Norris...
Earlyish in the evening, happy clowns get prizes. even though the Oregon posse cheated, and missed the 1st box (who told you what the task was?!), they "won" 1st, 2nd, and 3rd. This lovely skinsuit was donated by Stevil, over at allhailtheblackmarket, and is a symbol of individuality and his belief in personal freedom.
Late night. Clowns are sad. Clowns are happy.
when they reminisce over you
For real.
Smile!
There were some high points. There were some low points. Seems like the lowest points came immediately after bombing down super rutty 
descents from the high points. These were the lowest points, the crashes.Swing down sweet chariot, stop, and...let me ride. Having your friends laugh at you and carry on without you while you slowly push your creaking bike back up the hill listening to them hoot and holler will really pick you up. That or throw popcorn all over you.
The ER doctor says, and I quote, "No dirt could have done that."Nice.
Nothing like getting heckled/accused of being a liar by the pompous ass in the white coat. Like you don't get enough of that from your "friends."
No one knows what happened to everyone, but everyone knows what happened to someone. Comment on your race experience, or send photos (inspektorjavertATgmailDOTcom).
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
zzzzzz.....
If you have photos send them here: inspektorjavert(at)gmail(dot)com.We'll get on a wrap up. I know some of you cheated. For now...
Thank You to our sponsors: Surly, Allhailtheblackmarket.com, Princteon Tec, and Timbuk2.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
you ain't special, so shut the fuck up and finish your drink
A few words before we begin.
Brakes are a very good idea. Some folks (I'm not one) can stop real good without em and all, but. Laguna Seca sits atop a big ass hill. Going down the hill will be required. If, say, a deer were to jump out in front of you (it happens) are you able to lock em up from 42mph on a 14% grade inside of 37feet on a skibbly surface?
Yes?
Cool.
Laguna Seca sits atop a big ass hill. Climbing back up the hill at the end of your ride will be required. If this kind of things makes you cry, you will not have a Good Time.
Dressing well means being prepared. If you are not covered in a luxurious coat of beautiful golden hued (perhaps a lovely mottled brown) hair, you will want some standing around outside type clothes.
If you are the guy (or gal) who blows it at the start, skips the course and heads straight for the bar at the finish only to drink more than is good for you and throw your bike down on the stage...fuck off. You aren't welcome back.
If you like making love at midnight...we'll work something out.
Brakes are a very good idea. Some folks (I'm not one) can stop real good without em and all, but. Laguna Seca sits atop a big ass hill. Going down the hill will be required. If, say, a deer were to jump out in front of you (it happens) are you able to lock em up from 42mph on a 14% grade inside of 37feet on a skibbly surface?
Yes?
Cool.
Laguna Seca sits atop a big ass hill. Climbing back up the hill at the end of your ride will be required. If this kind of things makes you cry, you will not have a Good Time.
Dressing well means being prepared. If you are not covered in a luxurious coat of beautiful golden hued (perhaps a lovely mottled brown) hair, you will want some standing around outside type clothes.
If you are the guy (or gal) who blows it at the start, skips the course and heads straight for the bar at the finish only to drink more than is good for you and throw your bike down on the stage...fuck off. You aren't welcome back.
If you like making love at midnight...we'll work something out.
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