you ain't special, so shut the fuck up and finish your drink

A few words before we begin.

Brakes are a very good idea. Some folks (I'm not one) can stop real good without em and all, but. Laguna Seca sits atop a big ass hill. Going down the hill will be required. If, say, a deer were to jump out in front of you (it happens) are you able to lock em up from 42mph on a 14% grade inside of 37feet on a skibbly surface?
Yes?
Cool.

Laguna Seca sits atop a big ass hill. Climbing back up the hill at the end of your ride will be required. If this kind of things makes you cry, you will not have a Good Time.

Dressing well means being prepared. If you are not covered in a luxurious coat of beautiful golden hued (perhaps a lovely mottled brown) hair, you will want some standing around outside type clothes.

If you are the guy (or gal) who blows it at the start, skips the course and heads straight for the bar at the finish only to drink more than is good for you and throw your bike down on the stage...fuck off. You aren't welcome back.



If you like making love at midnight...we'll work something out.

prediction?

Don't kid yourself, sucka. You thought riding to Mortimer's All Night Card Room was pointless, confusing, cold and windy? We have been training in old bomber jackets, through frozen rivers of suffering, shadowed by hostile government agents! While you have been "training" in your heated pussy controlled indoor jr. high track wearing immaculate white spandex. And your hair was perfect.



Why?


Because we are at least a mov(i)e ahead of you, fool!